| Long Day |
[02 Sep 2002|01:33am] |
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music |
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what do you say? |
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It has been a long day. it was quite fun for the most part i actually got to spend sometime with my girlfriend today. it made me realize what i have and that sometimes i take it for granted. we hung out for a couple hours i finally found both things that i have been looking for forever now.1) my neon under bodies for my car and 2) my other tattoo that ive been wanting im gonna go hopefully in in like 2 weeks to get it. i talked to a couple of my friends today and its made me think a lot. especially about my grandpa but what can you do besides suck it up and go. i dont know i still to this day can not the the thought of him out of my head and the shit that my family has pulled concerning him. but other then that life for me has been pretty much the same shit different day.
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| LIFE SUXS CAN I IT END NOW?!?!?!?!?!?!? |
[27 Aug 2002|11:27pm] |
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I AM NO LONGER ALLOWED TO SEE MY GIRLFRIEND. THIS REALLY SUXS. HER PARENTS WONT LET HER SEE ME ANYMORE THEY SAID SHE HAD TO BREAK UP WITH ME OR SHE HAD TO GO. I THINK IM GONNA SAY SOMOETHING TO THEM BECAUSE THIS IS FUCKING BULLSHIT THEY DONT EVEN KNOW ME AND THEY WERE SITTING THERE SAYING THAT IM NOT HER TYPE. FUCK THAT MY GIRLFRIEND DOENST WANT ME TO SAY ANYTHING BUT I DONT CARE RIGHT NOW IM GONNA GO AHEAD AND DO IT ANYWAYS. SHE THINK IT WILL MAKE THINGS WORSE BUT I DONT THINK SHE REALIZES THAT THEY CANT GET ANY WORSE RIGHT NOW. I LOVE HER TO DEATH AND MORE THEN ANYTHING RIGHT NOW THERE IS NO WAY IN HELL THAT IM GONNA LET THOSE COCKSUCKERS TAKE HER AWAY FROM ME ILL DO WHAT EVER IT TAKES TO BE WITH HER AND SHE KNOWS THAT. BUT ONE THING I AM NOT GONNA SIT BACK AND STANDBY FOR THEM TO RUIN MY FUCKING LIFE. FUCK THAT SHIT I DONT CARE WHAT THEY SAY, TRY, OR EVEN DO. WE WERE ACTUALLY DOING GOOD TOO WE WERE GETTING A LONG GREAT UNTILL THIS SHIT CAME UP. I DONT EVEN KNOW ANYMORE, THE MORE THIS GOES ON THE MORE I FEEL BAD ABOUT IT ALL I EVER DO IS GET HER IN TO TROUBLE. SOMETIMES I THINK IT WOULD BE BETTER FOR HER IF I WASNT HERE ANYMORE THAT WAY SHE WOULDNT BE FIGHTING WITH HER PARENTS AND SHIT ALL THE TIME ABOUT ME. I DONT KNOW ANYMORE ANY ONE GOT ADVICE?
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[25 Aug 2002|01:09am] |
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Did I do somthing I dont know about?
Things just seem to be getting strange. My girlfriend and i havent talked for shit in like two days. When i have talked to her it seems like there is something that she is not telling me. I dont know if its something i shouldnt worry about or if tghere is something there that i have done or said to someone that she does noto like. Whatever it is it is starting to make me wonder if she wants to be with me or not. If i did something wrong I would like to know. If its not me I would like to know what the hell is going on becdause i know there is something, what it is I have no clue but there has to be something there. I think that i might know what it is but im not sure i guess ill just have to try and talk to her about it somemore.
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| bad boyfriend? |
[20 Aug 2002|10:43pm] |
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mood |
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music |
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Just to see you smile by Tim Mcgraw |
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Lately ive been really pushing my girlfriend to talk to her parents when she doesnt want to. I just love her so much i hate to see the way that they are treating her. They treat her very shitty. Ive been pushing really hard for her to talk to them and now i feel bad about doing it. I dont feel bad for trying to get her to talk to them but i feel bad cause i have not been a good boyfriend to her lately. I have been treating her bad. Shes the best thing that ever happened to me and the last thing i wanna do is something to screw it up. She always is so good to me and for the past couple weeks i have taken her for granted. I dont treat her the way that she deserves to be treated, especially since lately i havent had that much money with school starting and all. She deserves to be taken out and stuff like that i i havent been able to do it lately. She should be treated a lot better then the way i have been to her. Im afraid that she is gonna find someone who does treat her better and im gonna lose her. I dont know what i would do with out her in my life. She means everything to me and i dont wanna be the one to screw things up.
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| camping |
[18 Aug 2002|10:44pm] |
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WELL I WENT CAMPING THIS WEEKEND AND IT WASNT THE BEST TIME I EVER HAD IN MY LIFE. I DID HAVE FUN BUT I STILL CANT STOP THINKING BOUT A LOT OF SHIT. BASICALLY TWO THINGS. 1) I STILL CANT GET THE THOUGHT OF MY GRANDFATHER OUT OF MY HEAD. I DONT KNOW WHY BUT LATELY IT HAS REALLY BEEN BOTHERING ME. 2) MY GIRLFRIEND. I OWE HER THE WORLD SHE HAS BEEN HERE FOR ME THROUGH EVERYTHING. I DONT KNOW WHAT I WOULD DO WITHOUT HER. WE ARE DOING GOOD WE HAVENT HAD ANY MAJOR PROBLEMS LATELY. AND WE ARE GONNA BE MOVING IN TOGETHER SOON HOPEFULLY BY JANUARY OR FEBUARY. WE HAVE BEEN TALKING A LOT LATELY AND WE ARE ALSO GOING TO MAKE IT OFFICIAL THAT WE ARE "TOGETHER" FOR GOOD. YES I THINK IM ALMOST READY TO TAKE THE BIG STEP TO ENGAGEMENT. I KNOW I HAVE FINALLY FOUND THE RIGHT ONE FOR ME. AND I ALSO KNOW THAT IM THE LUCKIEST PERSON AROUND TO HAVE FOUND HER AGAIN AND GOT THE CHANCE TO GET BACK TOGETHER WITH HER. SHE MEANS THE WORLD TO ME AND IM READY TO BE WITH HER NO MATTER WHAT IT TAKES, EVEN IF IT MEANS MY FAMILY BEING PISSED OFF AT ME. BECAUSE RIGHT NOW THAT DOESNT MATTER THERE ARE VERY FEW OF MY BLOOD FAMILY MEMBERS THAT I ACTUALLY GIVE TWO SHITS ABOUT ANYWAYZ. BUT I HONESTLY CANT WAIT FOR THE DAY THAT I GET TO WAKE UP NEXT TO HER AND COME HOME TO HER IN PLACE THAT WE GET TO CALL OUR OWN.
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| WHY...................... |
[15 Aug 2002|01:00am] |
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mood |
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 angry |
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music |
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GARTH BROOKS: THE DANCE |
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WHY DOES IT SEEM LIKE MY FAMILY IS SO F*CKED UP. MY GRANDFATHER DIED SEVEN YEARS AGO AND THEY NEVER HAD A SERVICE OR NOTHIN FOR HIM. WHAT KIND OF SHIT IS THAT. I CANT BELIVE IT. THEY KEPT HIS ASHES LOCKED AWAY IN A DAMN SAFE. I AM SO DISGUSTED WITH THAT SIDE OF MY FAMILY RIGHT NOW I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO. I THINK IM GONNA TRY TO SAVE UP SOME MONEY AND IM GONNA PAY FOR A SERVICE MY SELF. THAT MAN WORKED THAT HARDEST OUT OF ANYBODY THAT I KNOW. IF SOMEONE ASKED HIM HE WOULD HAVE GIVEN THEM THE SHIRT OFF HIS OWN BACK, AND YET THEY DONT SHOW HIM THE RESPECT TO GIVE HIM A SERVICE. HE WAS A FATHER A HUSBAND AND ONE OF THE GREATEST INDIVIDUALS IVE EVER KNOWN. HES GONNA GET A SERVICE NO MATTER WHAT I HAVE TO DO TO GIVE IT TO HIM. HE DESERVES TO AT LEAST HAVE A BURIAL. SO IF YOUR UP THERE WATCHING I AHVENT FORGOT NOR WILL I EVER FOR GET ABOUT YOU.
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